THE HOSTILE HOSPITAL A Series of Unfortunate Events BOOK the Eighth by LEMONY SNICKET

I have finally figured out what I like about Lemony Snicket: He's the Douglas Adams of Children's Literature. It's true. He makes you laugh at the most basic of circumstances by giving them an in depth surreal explanation. For example the way he tries to explain why the book is not about him he says:

"But if this were a book about me, instead of about the three children who would soon run into someone they had hoped never to see again, I might pause for a moment and tell you about something I did many years ago that still troubles me. It was a necessary thing to do, but it was not a nice thing, and even now, I get a small quiver of shame in my stomach whenever I remember it. I might be doing something I enjoy--walking along the promenade deck of a ship, or looking through a telescope at the aurora borealis, or wandering into a bookstore and placing my books on the highest place in the shelf, so that no one will be tempted to buy and read them--when I will suddenly remember this thing I did, and think to myself, Was it really necessary? Was it absolutely necessary to steal that sugar bowl from Esmé Squalor?"

But this review is about the Baudelaire's unfortunate events. Especially what happened at the Heimlich (or Hostile) Hospital. In this book the events happening to the Baudelaire's change. No longer are they being dropped of at the home of some new caretaker that does not take care of them. At the end of the last book (The Vile Village) and the beginning of this one, the orphans are on the lam. They have run away from an angry mob that wants them burned at the stake for the murder of Count Omar/Olaf. Although we know it was Jacques Snicket that perished, and it was at the hads of Count Olaf not the orphans. The orphans try to send a telegram to Mr. Poe, but they get no answer and just as the Storekeeper finds out they are wanted for murder the children make an escape with the VFD van. They soon find out that this VFD is not the missing clue, instead it is the Volunteers Fighting Disease, whose idea of fighting disease is to give heart-shaped baloons to the sick folks at the hospital.



Once again I found myself laughing at the words of Sunny Baudelaire. As you may remember she is still a baby, but speaks non-sensical words in which only her siblings understand. In this one Sunny says her best word yet, "Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity" which means something along the lines of "I must admit I don't have the faintest idea of what is going on." I googled that word and the urban dictionary gives the following:

The state or condition of not having the faintest idea what's going on.


Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing this morning. He began by saying: "Mr. President, yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed."


"OH NO!" the president exclaimed. "My God! That’s terrible!" His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, head in hands.


Finally, the president looked up with pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity and asked, "How many is a brazillion?"

Once again another great book for smart kids, and a fun book for everyone.