"Paul is Undead" by Alan Goldsher

"Paul is Undead"
by Alan Goldsher
read by Simon Vance
published by Blackstone Audio (2010)
Approx 8 hours

As the kids say, "OMG," I am still giggling thinking about this book and I finished it 2 days ago. "Paul is Undead" has got to be one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. This book is written in the format of the many biographies of rock stars in that it is a series of interviews that tell the story. This time though the story is not the story we all know as the rise of The Beatles to the "Toppermost of the Poppermost," a phrase used by John Lennon throughout the book and the definition is not fully understood until the very end.

In the tradition of all the horror mashups that have been released recently, (e. g. "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," and "Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters," and "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter") Alan Goldsher gives it a go, mashing up the supernatural and the Beatles. The entire history of The Beatles is retold with The Beatles now being Zombies and wanting to take over the world. Okay, really only 3 of the Beatles are zombies, Ringo is a 7th level Ninja, of course.

When you rush out to get this book, I would HIGHLY recommend getting the audiobook version. Simon Vance does a superb job of not just reading the book but performing it as well. Vance does his best impression of all celebrities mentioned in the book including the Fab 4, but with more, he does the voice of the Chicago reporter who is writing the book, Mick Jagger, Ed Sullivan, Elvis, Rod Argent, Yoko Ono, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Satan and more. At times I felt as though I were listening to an audio biography produced by Ken Burns (but without the long drawn out scenes.) Vance had me laughing out loud with my headphones on with his presentation of this already hilarious book.

The book opens with Howard Cosell breaking in and announcing the attempted beheading of John Lennon by Mark David Chapman. Lennon's head is reattached and Chapman is arrested. From there we go back to the birth of John Lennon when as he came out of the womb he was zombified via the "Liverpool Process." The "Liverpool Process" of creating zombies is different from many other zombie creations known around the world. The "Liverpool Process" produces a super human zombie that can think, has supernatural powers, great speed, can hypnotize anyone, and can tear off and reattach any limb and more. Oh they still hunger for the gray matter but they can also eat , drink and experiment with drugs, the brain eating is saved for special occasions.

John then recruits/turns Paul and the duo are unstoppable, George Harrison is turned by Paul because John thinks he is too young. Stu Sutcliffe doesn't get turned to a zombie instead after quitting the Beatles he becomes a vampire. After the three play a few gigs they realize they need to replace Pete Best because they need a drummer who can protect the band. Enter Ringo Starr, a 7th level ninja, who can turn himself invisible (great subtle joke there).

Sure they have their problems, after all the world doesn't quite know what to do with zombies, but they make great music. Even worse, world renowned zombie hunter, Mick Jagger, is always trying to destroy them. Rod Argent is accused of riding the Beatles' coattails by naming his band The Zombies, even though they aren't undead. Roy Orbison is a deity of unknown proportion who doesn't allow Paul to steal his glasses. Smoking marijuana creates zombie flatulence which creates a purple haze of a more potent material that takes Bob Dylan by surprise. The Mahareshi Yogi gets dismembered, and finally Yoko Ono a 9th level ninja, has it out for Ringo.

All the stories are there, from their first Ed Sullivan appearance, the Shea Stadium troubles, and the band playing a concert on the rooftop of Abbey Road Studios, but with the hilarious zombie twist. For any Beatles fan this book is a must, it will have you laughing throughout.
Lots of gory laughs to be had.

Naked Lunch: The Restored Text by William S. Burroughs

Naked Lunch: The Restored Text
by William S. Burroughs
Read by Mark Bramhall
Produced by Blackstone Audio, Inc. (2009)
Approx 10.5 hours

Every so often I have to go back and revisit a classic novel, this time around I was going to listen to “Naked Lunch” by William S. Burroughs, but I found that there had been a restored text version released which contains sections that were thought to be lost as well as some additional essays by Burroughs. I remember last time I tried to read this I couldn't quite get through the whole book. There were and still are parts that are extremely disturbing. Burroughs wrote the better part of this book while addicted to heroin and living in Tangiers. The stories/segments really display the torn state of consciousness he must have been experiencing.

The book starts out fairly straight forward in which a junkie (Burroughs) runs from the police in New York City and heads off across the country to escape and score more drugs. His adventures take us to Mexico City, Tangiers and into a alternate reality location referred to as “the Interzone.” Once he arrives in Mexico things get really weird when he meets up with Dr. Benway. By weird I mean really blow your mind type of weird. The descriptions of junkies using drugs in the not so “normal” way and even taking drugs that are way beyond the norm border on the disgusting. The weirdness hits when the author takes the reader/listener overseas and sexual deviancy becomes extremely disturbing. I did have to stop listening to this book at times just to clear my mind of the vivid imagery created by Burroughs.

At this point I would like to talk about the reader/Narrator, Mark Bramhall. Bramhall delivers this audiobook with absolute vocal perfection. His raspy voice is strangely soothing and yet some of the stuff he describes are over the top. His ability to do separate voices for each of the characters is worthy of applause not only because of the vocal gymnastics needed but also because of the ability to expose the characters through his voice alone. I'm gonna be looking for more audiobooks voiced by Bramhall, because he is just that good.

This novel presents a glimpse into the emerging counter cultures of the 1950s and gives interesting insights into how these forces effect the ongoing development of modern society. In one of the essays that Burroughs wrote in the early 60s, Burroughs continues this glimpse by further exploring the idea of treating addicts. His essay should be read by anyone involved in today's “War on Drugs.” The book was written in a non-linear fashion, in that the reader could pick up and start reading any chapter in the book and not lose the form of the storyline. I found it very interesting that the book ends exactly where it starts with the junkie running away from the cops. The story was brought full circle and at no point did I realize it was headed this way.

As for the historical significance of the book here is some of the information I found. The book is extremely controversial in both its subject matter and its use of obscene language (something Burroughs recognized and intended), the book was banned in Boston and Los Angeles in the United States, and several European publishers were harassed. It was one of the most recent American books over which an obscenity trial was held. The book was banned in Boston in 1962 due to obscenity, but that decision was reversed in 1966 by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court. The Appeals Court found the book did not violate obscenity statutes, as it was found to have some social value. The hearing included testimony in support of the work by Allen Ginsberg and Norman Mailer.

Sections of the manuscript were published in the spring, 1958 number of Robert Creeley's Black Mountain Review and in the spring 1958 University of Chicago student-run publication The Chicago Review. The student edition was not well received, and caused the university administration to discuss the future censorship of the Winter 1959 edition of the publication, resulting in the resignation of all but one of the editors. When the editor Paul Carroll published BIG TABLE Magazine alongside former Chicago Review editor Irving Rosenthal, he was found guilty of sending obscene material through the U.S. mail for including "Ten Episodes from Naked Lunch," a piece of writing the Judicial Officer for the United States Postal Service deemed "undisciplined prose, far more akin to the early work of experimental adolescents than to anything of literary merit" and initially judged it as non-mailable.

If you do chose to pick up this book I will warn you, reality will be altered and no matter who you are you will be disturbed.

"Hater" by David Moody

"Hater"
by David Moody
Read by Gerard Doyle
Produced by Blackstone Audio
approx 7.5 hours


In the modern world the internet is king. This is proven simply by you reading this review here online. David Moody took advantage of the mass audience created by the internet, by first publishing his book "Hater" online. Once the novel became popular publishers scrambled to make this book a publishing success. Now "Hater" is available as and audio book, and I'm here to tell you this apocalyptic novel is well performed by Gerard Doyle and Blackstone Audio.

In "Hater" the world seems to be tearing itself apart through the madness of man. Seemingly normal people are reacting as if a switch goes off and suddenly killing their fellow man. In the beginning of the book the main character, Danny McCoyne, through whose eyes we watch the destruction of society, witnesses a man in morning rush hour foot traffic attack an elderly woman with brutality unexplained. The man viciously attacks and doesn't stop until he finally kills her by stabbing her with an umbrella. When the crowd tries to stop the man he turns on them and fights to the end. Upset by the scene Danny arrives at work shaken. Danny is an everyday average guy with a wife and three children who works in the parking division for the city. His job consists of a constant barrage of anger from the people who get tickets or worse, their car gets clamped. He is also under constant scrutiny from his supervisor. So Danny has a bit of anger he keeps under control all the time. But no anger he holds could measure up to what horror unfolds in his world.

As the days progress Danny is witness to several people snapping and just killing without remorse and always in brutal fashion. One of Danny's children's school has a child that snaps and brutally attacks and kills a teacher. Soon the television news is reporting several of the violent crimes and it seems something is happening to the city. Those that snap are soon labeled as "Haters." The big question is, what? Is it a virus, a disease, mental instability? Soon the government steps in and takes over the news broadcasts, issues pamphlets and worse yet send out troops and begin gunning down the "Haters." Danny and his family take the government's advice and lock themselves inside the house but with a "Hater" being anyone are they locking out the danger or locking it in?

Gerard Doyle delivers this first person view this end of the world novel with great vocal command. He portrays the gamut of emotions as seen through Danny McCoyne's eyes, flawlessly.

David Moody has written a piece here with intense drama and horror that keeps the listener to the audio book constantly looking into the eyes of a stranger to make sure they are not a "Hater." As a very interesting side-note; filmmaker/Author Guillermo del Toro has purchased the movie rights to this book and is in production to be released some time in 2010.

"Spider-Man: The Darkest Hours" by Jim Butcher (Published 2006 by Pocket Star)

Yes this is a BOOK review and not a COMIC BOOK review. I have usually stayed away from novelizations of comic books. I'm not really sure why but I think it's probably because I'm a HUGE fan of comic books especially Spider-Man comics. How does that keep me away from the novels? Well, because mainly I believe strongly that the best part of the story-telling in comic books is the artwork along with the written lines of dialogue. Sure the occasional "Thwipp", "Snikt" and "Whack" make for good otomotopeiaic words and look cool when printed in the cool font on the page, but comic books actually have great dialogue and big words. As a side note I knew an English Professor that would "force" his students to read comic books because of the structure and word use.

That all being said, I've just never thought that reading a novel of a comic book hero would have that same oomph. Enter Jim Butcher. I've been reading (and reviewing) Jim Butcher's series of novels, "The Dresden Files," and his adventures of the Wizard Harry Dresden are great books. Harry Dresden is everyman, except he has powers, and instead of going off and getting rich, he chooses to help people with his powers. With great power comes great responsibility.....hmmm....I know that's Spider-Man's credo but that is also what Harry Dresden lives by. So, when I saw that Jim Butcher had authored a Spider-Man novel I thought that it was a sign that I must read it. I'm a Jim Butcher Fan, I'm a Spider-Man fan (btw, I was a Spider-Man fan loooooong before those movies came out) and Jim Butcher knows how to present a hero as a human with a normal life as well as kicking evil villain butt.

I was not let down with this book. The great writing style of Jim Butcher and the life of Peter Parker/Spider-Man turned out to be a very entertaining and exciting read.

In "The Darkest Hours" one of Spider-Man's worst enemies comes back to haunt him, except it's actually that enemy's family that seeks revenge. A few years ago J. Michael Straczynski, the man that brought the epic space opera "Babylon 5", wrote for a stretch of Spider-Man comics and created a villian named Morlun that fed on superhumans that had animal totems...you know like SPIDER-Man. Morlun was invincible and nearly killed Spider-Man, but of course Spider-Man came out the victor. Morlun was a what has been deemed an "Ancient." Now three more "Ancients" appear on the scene and seek revenge for Morlun's death.

Spider-Man is warned by Black-Cat, aka Felicia Hardy, which Spider-Man converted her from criminal to "good-guy" and had a love interest in. Black-Cat warns Spidey that the Rhino is rampaging in New York only to get Spidey's attention, so someone can trap the web-slinger. Those someones are the Ancients, and they want to drain Spidey's life force to keep themselves alive and extract revenge.

Spidey seeks out Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, but the good ole Doc can't help...at least not outright...because that would throw off the balance of good and evil. So without helping his major domo slips Spidey some rocks that may or may not help. He also offers the advice that Spidey needs to learn not to work alone.

In order for the Ancients not to harm his wife or millions of other innocents, Spider-Man agrees to meet them with one final battle. Spidey has a few tricks up his red and blue sleeve and with a major battle that can't be missed this book creates all the excitement of any comic book.

Give it a chance...you may find it pretty fun. If your first response is that's not my type of book, then you are the first person that should give this book a read. You'll thank me when you do.